The Pink Starburst Conspiracy Theory
This year I ever-so-carefully prioritized my stash of Halloween candy such that trick-or-treaters received candy in the order of my least to most favorite, leaving me with a plentiful supply of...
View ArticleOne horseshoe to rule them all.
Because one does not simply walk into Mare-dor, here’s Lord of the Rings re-enacted by ponies: httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4hD31VTdsw#! Lately MLP:FiM has become my go-to Saturday morning cartoon...
View ArticleLook at all the amazing dreams Balki helps make true!
It’s been a while since I checked in with Balki Bartokomous and asked him to help me make one of my dreams come true, but after wrapping up my first guest appearance on the Nerd Lunch podcast (which...
View ArticleThe day I discovered Ninja Sex Party.
Sometimes the fabric of the universe shifts and folds in such a way that serendipity bestows its wonders upon us, and mere coincidences become life-changing discoveries. Yesterday was such a day for...
View ArticleRejected Comics #1 – Superman is a dick.
This one goes out to Kal. P.S. This might be the start of a new recurring feature. We’ll see. P.S.S. I love that I got to tag this post with the keyword “superballs.”
View ArticleFriendly Doomsday Reminder
It’s tomorrow, people! So I hope all your affairs are in order, all your meat closets are stocked, you’ve spent quality time with loved ones, and most importantly, you’re all caught up on your favorite...
View ArticleGetting by with a little help from Louis C.K.
If there is one good thing about being sick for over a week, it’s having a valid excuse to lay in bed all day and watch crap on Netflix. At this point I’ve exhausted most of my Instant queue,...
View ArticleThere should be ‘Glamour Shots’ for 80s music videos.
There. That’s a free business idea I’m selflessly bestowing upon the world. Mainly because I wish it were an actual thing. You remember Glamour Shots, right? Think Deb from Napoleon Dynamite. Your...
View ArticleMiss Bliss, we need to have a serious talk about your best friend’s wardrobe.
Ah, good old Tina Paladrino: Teacher. Sidekick. Fashion victim. Even back in 1988, I have no idea where you would have been able to buy outfits as tacky as hers. They’re even tacky for Saved by the...
View ArticlePatrick Bateman wants to show you his Pokemon.
If you listened to the latest episode of the Cult Film Club podcast, you know I’m a huge American Psycho fan and ranked it #1 on my list of favorite cult films of all time. And just from a casual look...
View ArticleHow did I know the Ravens were going to the Super Bowl?
Because I also saw Justin Bieber’s ass today. Nothing good ever happens around here without being tainted by something awful. And now comes the part where I feel a sick sense of satisfaction from...
View ArticleYou are now entering The Busey Zone.
I learned three important facts about Gary Busey (a.k.a The Poor Man’s Nick Nolte) today: 1. Gary Busey is still bat-shit crazy. 2. Gary Busey has a YouTube channel called “The Busey Zone.” 3. Gary...
View ArticleThe most ridiculous(ly awesome) pirate songs I know.
My first impulse after seeing this week’s League assignment was “pirates” was to make a list of my Top 5 Favorite Pirates, but then I remembered I kinda already did that. It’s not the most meaty or...
View ArticleMy official reaction to the Megan Fox = April O’Neil news.
From Variety: After pushing production to do more work on the script, Paramount’s “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” reboot looks back on track as the studio has tapped Megan Fox to star as April O’Neil....
View ArticleAre you ready to go on a World Wide Webscapade!?
Reblogging because 90s! You’re still running Windows 95, right? Someone over at College Humor–presumably named Douglas Engelbert–has created a browser-based game (and I’m using the word “game” pretty...
View ArticleNicky & Alex voted most likely to be kicked out of Full House.
In last month’s poll, I asked you guys who should be kicked out of Full House. Personally, I threw in a vote for Joey, because what does Joey even do? Sure, he’s supposedly there to help raise the...
View ArticleHistory, motherf*ckers! FDR: American Badass
It’s not often something that’s actually educational sneaks into my feed reader, and even less often when that something perfectly aligns with one of my weird interests in some way and I end up giving...
View ArticleNot for Trade/Sale: My Cat
Despite being overly attached to this comic box lid, he doesn’t come with the Catwoman comics I have up for trade/sale. But if you throw in an extra $1, I’ll fish up something extra special from his...
View ArticleWhy do toy makers think little girls are obsessed with poop?
That’s my burning question for The League this week, which asks “why?” No, really, WHY? Profound, I know. I was willing to let this whole pooping pets thing slide when I thought there was only one of...
View ArticleFriendly remindarrr! Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day
If you arrr not talking like a pirate today, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG. That’s right me hearties, today is September 19th–Talk Like a Pirate Day, which is right up there with Christmas on the awesome...
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